Bleeding Edge Astoria, Oregon

Some time ago, the brain-trust in Astoria hit upon the idea of setting up buckets of flags at pedestrian crossings they deemed particularly dangerous. The idea was that a pedestrian would grab a flag and wave it around to ensure that drivers knew that “hey, I’m crossing here!”.

Well, was that ever an attractive concept! Now, Fort Lauderdale, FL. is trying it out. Hey, it’s cheaper than installing actual safety improvements.

Shortly after the program launched in Fort Lauderdale, three of the four flags had been stolen. But the city replaced the stolen flags. And despite the flag theft, residents like Magali Newson embraced the idea and crossed the street proudly waving the flag.

“I think the flag is a great thing,” Newson said. “I think Fort Lauderdale should do this around the city.”

“The cars seem to have a lack of respect for the crosswalk,” Catton said.

Well, that’s because they’re cars, so…it’s not as though cars have a lot of respect for anything; they just kind of go where they’re driven. And when you get a 90 year-old behind the wheel in proximity to a farmers’ market, anything can happen. Same thing with waving a flag in front of them. Have these people never seen a bullfight?

As for Astoria, I think they’ve already kissed off the idea; all the Lefties there were stealing the flags and taking them home to make decorative artwork, last I heard.

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About maxredlines

experience: biology, zoology, psychology. authored/co-authored papers appearing in peer-reviewed scientific journals, as well as numerous professional proceedings. authored articles appearing in computer-oriented publications. featured in publications ranging from books to New Yorker magazine to television.
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