Anarchist Restaurant Co-Owner Dials 911 For EMTs, Requests No Cops

Where else? It’s Portland:

Co-owner of the worker-owned, radical-themed coffee shop Red & Black Cafe John Langley called the 911 emergency services line on Friday, seeking an ambulance for a man who had apparently passed out from a heroin overdose.

Langley told the 911 dispatcher, “We don’t allow police in here, so we can totally accommodate fire department and other personnel. Not police, though.”

So it’s okay to not allow cops in the place, but it’s cool to sue the owners of a bakery for not making a wedding cake for a gay couple. Got it. Yep, we’re still in Portland.

On the plus side, if you like vegetarian food, you know where you can graze for free; they’re not going to call the cops because the owners believe that “Civilization is the root cause of oppression.”

“HELLO, 911? DELIVERY. YEAH, I’D LIKE AN AMBULANCE, A DRIVER, A MEDIC… BUT HOLD THE PEOPLE WITH THE GUNS. IF YOU SEND ME PEOPLE WITH GUNS, I WILL SEND THEM BACK.”

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About maxredlines

experience: biology, zoology, psychology. authored/co-authored papers appearing in peer-reviewed scientific journals, as well as numerous professional proceedings. authored articles appearing in computer-oriented publications. featured in publications ranging from books to New Yorker magazine to television.
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4 Responses to Anarchist Restaurant Co-Owner Dials 911 For EMTs, Requests No Cops

  1. ZZMIke says:

    I don’t think “We don’t allow police in here” is an effective deterrent against armed and no-nonsense policemen.

    And, who knows? they may be a Protected Class, so you have to let them in or face Serious Consequences.

    PS: The new site seems easier to read.

    • maxredlines says:

      Yes, I think the anarchists who run the place are kind of continuing to set themselves up for problems down the road, ZZ – but as I noted, at least I know where to go for free eats.

      During the time when I’m putting things here and back at the old, long-term site, perhaps I’ll redesign the template for easier reading. I figure I’ve got 3 months of free access there before the money credited runs out.

  2. g says:

    I think he’s standing next to the guy with the t-shirt that says “I’m with stupid”.

    BTW, I like your new digs.

    • maxredlines says:

      Thanks, g – I’m still trying to get the hang of WordPress, but it’ll give me something to do.

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